Jappanese dating customs
I would love more input from the experiences of others.
I would especially love to hear back from my Japanese friends with their thoughts and perspectives on the topic. Any more I can learn will only serve myself and others better. Japan, and as I understand it most of Asia, has a very different dating culture than that of the West.
In Western dating one would only tell someone “I love you” after being boyfriend and girlfriend for a good amount of time.
One says those words only with someone they feel they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
I don’t just mean sex, but kissing and I think even hand holding. Attempting a kiss can make a Japanese person think you are only interested in sex or a physical relationship and not a serious or romantic relationship. For example, often a Westerner will want to kiss someone they are seeing and the Easterner doesn’t want to be kissed yet.
The Westerner will think the Easterner isn’t interested in a relationship with him/her.
The use of kokuhaku is also a bit of a culture shock for Westerners.Initial dating, or the lead up to dating, always begins in a group.You go out with mutual friends, or a group of your friends and a group of her friends together.Love is a very powerful word and concept in English.Telling someone “I love you” in such a manner as kokuhaku is consequently very serious.
Meeting their friends and having the friends’ approval can be very important, but not always.