Gay men chatting and dating website dating groups for people with herpes
Beforehand, I researched the charity and read the testimony of a young man who had met someone he had been chatting to on an internet dating site.
It was the first contact he had had with other gay men.
They may also be uneducated in regards to gay sex, isolated and emotionally vulnerable, with the result being that they look for validation in the arms of strangers.
The problem is that by doing so, these young men are making themselves incredibly vulnerable to exploitation, sexual abuse and even rape.
More pertinently, the most vulnerable individuals on these sites, the young, inexperienced men who really need positive sexual role-models are being taught that in order to receive the attention and intimacy they crave, they must allow themselves to be used as sex objects.
Unfortunately, many of these young men do just that, and acquire for themselves a sex education which dictates that submission, relinquishment of power and subserviently allowing yourself to be used sexually are the modes by which you can most expediently access affection, however fleeting and ephemeral it may be.
My experience of meeting men from these sites has been overwhelmingly positive, and I have always prided myself on being a good judge of character. In reality, I never really know if the person I am about to meet is a safe bet. This realisation was further compounded when I recently re-joined Grindr.
My love affair with Grindr has always been more of a regrettable fling which invariably ends with me deleting the app from my phone within a couple of days. If previously, my feelings towards the platform were ambivalent, they have now been crystallised: I actively dislike it.
Perhaps I’m uptight and maybe this is all the bait some men need to be lured off to a not-so-glamorous location for some afternoon delight, but the practice makes me uneasy.If sex has been debased to the level where men are willing to submit to each other on the basis of the size and shape of their respective members, then surely this is symptomatic of a larger sexual dysfunction.Whilst sex should be fun and experimentation should be promoted in order that we can all have fulfilling and liberated sexual lives, simply using each other as receptacles for penises totally negates the emotional and psychological aspects of healthy sexuality.It allowed men to identify and meet other men wherever they were, and therefore, implicitly at least, it promoted sex-on-the-go for which there is considerable demand.Personally, the Mc Donald’s Drive-Thru approach to dating has never been my thing.
I’m not aggressive enough, I don’t like engaging in anonymous sex and to be frank, I am too neurotic to clamber up nine flights of stairs to the dingy flat of a man I have never even met before to partake in intimate relations. What really put me off the whole thing was a message I received within 24 hours of re-activating my account.