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I think that viewing relationships as an inevitable thing that happens between two people who are attracted to each other takes away from the emotional vulnerability, and work, that goes into building strong commitments.Ashley: We met in a seminar that was set up like a production company, and I was his boss. About a year later, after ending a terrible relationship and getting fired from my job, I went to a party at his house.Nothing felt weird to me, but the transitions didn’t just happen on their own.At each new point, we always had a conversation to find out where we were and how we felt.Ashley: We met in a college class and slowly became friends.He made me laugh a lot, but I was very suspicious of him. And he was a white boy with a slight country accent who drove a pick-up truck.Not only were we good friends, but our families were also extremely close and had been for years.When we broke up nine months later, all the usual post-breakup awkwardness and bitterness were multiplied tenfold by the fact that we were forced to hang out whenever our families got together, which was often.
Ashley: We hooked up for a semester in college, then spent about two years being mostly just friends again while he did an internship in NY (I was still based in Indiana) then moved to Seattle.
On the flip side, when we rekindled the flame after college, our friendship and the friendship between our families became one of the best parts about our more-than-friendship.
We had a shared history, our siblings adored each other and we even went on a few joint-family vacations.
He asked if anybody wanted to go four-wheeling, and I said I did. Kelly: She didn’t really know it was supposed to be a date. Ashley: I’m bisexual, and if this were true, I wouldn’t have any friends. And I have been attracted to most of them at some point or another, just not in a way that I could or wanted to sustain. Kelly: I think that viewing relationships as an inevitable thing that happens between two people who are attracted to each other takes away from the emotional vulnerability, and work, that goes into building strong commitments.
Ashley: The second time around, after he’d lived in Seattle, he just showed up on my doorstep and kissed me. Also, it really doesn’t say much for platonic friendship if you can only be friends with people you aren’t attracted to.