Daddy39s 10 rules for dating my daughter

Posted by / 08-Dec-2019 06:51

Do anything inappropriate with, or to my daughter and I’ll use you to fertilize my garden.

I’ll have great tomatoes next year, and no one will ever find you”.

The camouflaged face watching you from the window is mine. _________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. ) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough for my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON' T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank.

Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?:) But we lied and told him it was a joke, it wasn’t. He was a perfect gentleman on that date and on prom night. Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management.Normally he was “Handy Andy”, as reported later by other girls. :) Now I have a “Serious Social Purposes” Shotgun that I will be cleaning, God Wiling, when some boys comes to pick up my granddaughters, in 9 to 11 years. Maybe we both should be cleaning guns, when the guys come to pick up the twins? All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.Rule Three : I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off.Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.

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I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

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