Confident persistence dating
I was glad to get the straight-up answer, but I had to push her boundaries to get it. I know intellectually that getting a non-answer in these situations means “no”.
It’s clear that I’m establishing a disturbing pattern: I get interested in a woman; I make a move; she gives a non-committal response; I don’t take it as the brush-off it is and end up making unwelcome contact (i.e. It’s also clear in retrospect that I should’ve just backed off in these cases, but I seem to panic in the moment and not act on that knowledge.
These days, I even manage to gather up my courage and ask them out/confess my feelings.
However, I never to seem to get a straight “yes” or a “no”, and I end up responding in a bad way.
It was probably never gonna happen after that initial 😦 but it was definitely not gonna happen after “” He was cute and smart and we liked the same geeky stuff but he put my shoulders up around my ears and once they went up they weren’t coming down. Additionally: You can’t logick someone into loving you.
There is no series of perfectly executed steps that get you there.
She said “I don’t know” and it looked like she was nervous and didn’t know what to do.
This is all very fixable and I wish you luck in fixing it. This is actually pretty simple to handle going forward. Some actual big deal life stuff came up and I forgot to call him.At precisely am Monday morning I got a text that said “” and then he kept texting me all week until I blocked his number I get from the interactions that he’d been really looking forward to the date and that I hurt his feelings by being less interested. Pushy people get my back up and if you’re a shy guy who is not very experienced at dating your best dating pool is going to be your fellow shy people who are not so experienced at dating and they are not necessarily going to enjoy feeling hunted by you.You’re not doing anything wrong by asking people on dates, asking them to kiss them, or telling them you like them. You don’t need to push for a clearer answer or settle the question or codify the rejection. If she flirts with you, it’s okay to flirt back, but don’t renew the request for a date or a kiss. Just because you were comfortable with it once upon a time doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with it when your feelings are hurt. A woman who genuinely wants to look at your etchings will find a way to ask you about them. If someone says no to Thursday, specifically, but yes to the idea, you are cleared to ask again, one time.There are exceptions – I think teachers hitting on their students is always pretty creepy, for instance, and your cute barista smiles that way at everyone because she is trapped at work and capitalism demands her emotional labor – but feeling attracted to someone and asking them about it isn’t creepy. You say you are shy and you don’t have a lot of confidence. You say you aren’t getting clear yes or no answers, so, make your requests for dates or whatever easier to say a clear yes or no to. If it gets super-hard to make plans and it feels like there is never the right time, 1) Stop: “” and (this is key) then he left me alone. Pickup Artists and other dregs at the bottom of the dating pool talk about something called the “shit test” – where women say no to an early request to test to see if the guy will persist, and they encourage you to push back on this early no.
My social skills have been getting better, and I’m getting treatment for my mental health issues.